I joined facebook in 2004 as soon as it was offered for UMass Amherst and I loved it, especially because it was not MySpace. You had to be in college to have an account, remember that?
Before going further there are a few disclaimers that should be mentioned: YOU determine what you share. If you have a clue you have enabled the privacy settings. YOU project the image the rest of the social networking community receives. Those pictures of you taking bong rips? Might be why you did not get the job. Most people are smart about it - information is limited to friends or not shared at all. I have had many Facebook breaks over the past 8 years, but have always ended up going back.
Disclaimers over. It is the harmless information that affected my decision to leave Facebook permanently. After leaving college and grad school (basically the extension to my college experience - and a delay of the real world) the importance of party pictures, friending the people I met that weekend, all subsided, and a new use of facebook emerged.
Friends started posting pictures of their sonograms, their finger with an engagement ring - broadcasting the news instead of picking up a phone or even emailing! One of my relatives even sent status updates while in labor and that's when I started wondering why I was compulsively checking the news feed of people I had not spoken to since high school.
Dating. The effect of facebook on getting to know someone borders on stalking. You do not mean to stalk the guy you met - you are merely reading the information HE provides - his favorite movies, activities, quotes, all information you are supposed to learn over time. Instead you enter dates two and three knowing it already - which takes the fun out of getting to know someone. Or you could have a fantastic memory like I do, and forget what you have been told versus what you read on Facebook and end up looking like a gigantic creep when you open your mouth and talk about something he knows he never said. It is innocent - you truly are not meaning to load up on information - it is just there, and in your defense he put it there.
Flirting, looking drunk, innocent comments - posted on your wall by you or someone else - then are interpreted by the viewer of your profile, and possibly incorrectly because of the subjective nature of the actions. If you are looking to get upset about a person, or a comment, you are given the "information" needed to read into something the way you want to - causing, NEEDLESS fights and tension. Maybe the guy who left a post telling you that you are beautiful that caused your jealous boyfriend to get upset is gay! He would not know because he is just reading one line with no context. Maybe you did not start out this way - but I believe Facebook enables people to develop qualities that mirror a stalker.
Why am I off facebook? I found the stress of information overload too much to handle and honestly I was wasting so much time trying to stay on top of everyone's lives and birthdays. I forgot how nice it was to just call and catch up with your best friend. I forgot that the time you don't waste is time you have to go to the gym, watch your DVRed shows, or reconnect with that friend that is pregnant. I also know that since job searching can be ongoing for anyone, and happen unexpectedly - there is nothing I have to worry about being interpreted incorrectly.
As for my relationships - friendships or romantic - the quality has increased. There is more to talk about, ask and learn - without the one dimensional feeling of reading a news feed. Have I missed out on engagements or baby announcements? Probably, but honestly, if I have not been told or learned through the gossip mill then I was not supposed to know at all. The awkward friend requests you cannot decide whether to accept (your friend's mom, your boss, coworker) no longer is something that even crosses my mind. I am Facebook free, one month this weekend - and I see no reason to return.
